Lifestyle

Every SAHM Has Felt This at Least Once

By Ashley
January 7, 2019
0 Comments

At times we feel very very alone, especially amidst dark hours when everyone is asleep.

There was a night about a year ago when my youngest (5 months at the time) was sick. We had not slept for two consecutive nights, and I was running on fumes…literally. I’m pretty sure I overdid it with the sugar intake, but what other choice did I have? I had to fight my overwhelming urge to sleep so I took to my keyboard:

As I sit here practically high on life with my LO, I began to think about all of the ‘what ifs’ the swiftly upcoming day is sure to bring: What if I don’t sleep at all? I also thought, “What if I am so tired that I can’t hear my kids calling for me?” I often wonder, “What if I get sick from lack of sleep?”

What if, what if, what if?

I then began to drift to a dark place that I unfortunately visit more often than I’d like to admit: What if I am a bad mother? Maybe so-and-so was right; I had too many kids way too fast…etc. I wish not to sink too deep into that well of darkness, and I think I hold it together very well honestly.

As the four o’clock hour nears, I have come to the realization that I am literally living my dream. I have never been certain about ANYTHING in my life except that I wanted to be a wife and mother to beautiful children. That is exactly what I am. I never thought being a homemaker would be easy. In fact it’s very tedious and sometimes redundant but I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way. On the contrary, I WOULD like to have more support- it takes a village.

Here are Four Common Feelings of a SAHM:

Let me explain-

Monetarily speaking, I don’t bring anything to the table. My wonderful husband is an outstanding provider for our family. This means that my time is valuable. Time that I could be spending with my family is invaluable. You can’t get it back. Don’t waste it.
I struggle more than I’d like to admit, but that doesn’t mean fault me for bringing three beautiful souls into the world. College students struggle, get overwhelmed, cry, worry, etc. how many words of discouragement have you heard? How often do you hear “You shouldn’t have gone to college,” or “You shouldn’t have taken so many classes,”? I’ll wait. *tumbleweed* Right. Bluntly: comments about what choices I SHOULD/SHOULDN’T have made are in no way a reflection of my character as a natural human being. We all get tired. We pull all nighters, struggle to wake up in the morning, overdose on coffee, and somehow manage to get through another day. Unless you are praying for me, uplifting me, or directly addressing my desire for relief…shove it.
Just because I am a stay at home mom doesn’t mean I am always ready or willing to be at your disposal. “She can do it. She’s a stay at home mom, she’s not doing anything.” Keep that to yourself. In no way, shape, or form does that statement mean I am physically, mentally, or emotionally available to focus on anything other than my home and all that reside in it. I never make time for myself (let’s be clear: that is not a complaint) and I’m okay with putting myself last for the growth and benefit of my family.
Lastly, if you see someone blatantly or even indirectly struggling, offer what you can. Don’t offer negativity. It speaks volumes about your morality and character. We are no better than the person sitting next to us, but we can be better together. It’s okay to respectfully decline propositions and offers if it doesn’t fit your current circumstance. It’s not okay to drag someone down because you think or feel like someone else’s situation is beneath you.

I am exactly where I need to be. No I’m not a college graduate. I don’t have a prestigious education driven career. I drive an 18 year old vehicle (that is not a minivan, but, hey, it’s paid for). But I have an amazingly supportive husband, we have a place to call home, and we have our family. Please don’t be alarmed if certain “favors” go unanswered. Others like myself probably feel like they’ve been too passive for too long. From now on, wear your title with the utmost pride. If it wasn’t for my children I never would have known all of my capabilities and passion for any and all things crafty. My children have unknowingly brought out every potential bone I have. I can’t imagine being anything different. Be happy with yourself and keep doing better the next day.